Friday, 6 May 2011

Friday 13th?

Well that was how today felt. These tantrums are taking some getting used to. It's not so much the tantrums but more of how to deal with them correctly. I think I beat myself up too much thinking to myself "Is she happy?""I am doing this right?" "Is she eating enough?"

I know deep down that thinking this way is silly and that I often over think things, of course she is happy, look at her singing to herself. I am the best mother I know how to be, and yes the chunky girl is eating what she needs, she is full of life for heavens sake. I sometime wish it was in me to be a bit more relaxed about things but at least I can look back and say I did my very best for this child.

Today we went to the hospital, nothing was wrong it was to meet my mum. I think Eden may have woken herself a little unexpectedly from her nap and at the same time her nappy leaked. I think it was more than she could stand because she needs a while to wake up.... then the screaming started...

I can normally cope well with public meltdowns. Generally speaking I don't worry what people think, when they give you those looks. Today was different.

At first I thought maybe she is hurt? It was that shrill shreek when you know it is something other than a normal cry there was kicking, foaming at the mouth, she was completely at the point of no return and nothing that I (who is normally the one person who can settle her) could do to help. I knew it was a bit crazy when people started to get up from their seats and walk away (yes it was that loud) coupled with a large echoing open space my nerves where frazzled.

It took about 10 minutes, that felt like hours, a nappy change, and a dummy to pacify her. In the end I locked us in the baby changing room until she calmed enough to leave. I was completely in shock/upset over this.

At the end of the day I guess this is my welcome to toddlerhood. I know that this is a normal part of develeopment blahblahblah, I have read the books etc.. but wow, this motherhood journey is HARD at time and nothing could ever prepare me for days like today. She has always had a wicked temper and I hope that today was as bad as it can get. I have noticed recently she will do things to test my patience and see how far she can push me. I wonder if she takes me seriously at all.

Still I wouldn't change her for the world, it may not be normal to those people who got up and walked away today, but it is normal for us.

Photos from Post meltdown:

happy again, loving costume jewellery

Over accessorizing at home

Shel x

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