I know deep down that thinking this way is silly and that I often over think things, of course she is happy, look at her singing to herself. I am the best mother I know how to be, and yes the chunky girl is eating what she needs, she is full of life for heavens sake. I sometime wish it was in me to be a bit more relaxed about things but at least I can look back and say I did my very best for this child.
Today we went to the hospital, nothing was wrong it was to meet my mum. I think Eden may have woken herself a little unexpectedly from her nap and at the same time her nappy leaked. I think it was more than she could stand because she needs a while to wake up.... then the screaming started...
I can normally cope well with public meltdowns. Generally speaking I don't worry what people think, when they give you those looks. Today was different.
At first I thought maybe she is hurt? It was that shrill shreek when you know it is something other than a normal cry there was kicking, foaming at the mouth, she was completely at the point of no return and nothing that I (who is normally the one person who can settle her) could do to help. I knew it was a bit crazy when people started to get up from their seats and walk away (yes it was that loud) coupled with a large echoing open space my nerves where frazzled.
It took about 10 minutes, that felt like hours, a nappy change, and a dummy to pacify her. In the end I locked us in the baby changing room until she calmed enough to leave. I was completely in shock/upset over this.
At the end of the day I guess this is my welcome to toddlerhood. I know that this is a normal part of develeopment blahblahblah, I have read the books etc.. but wow, this motherhood journey is HARD at time and nothing could ever prepare me for days like today. She has always had a wicked temper and I hope that today was as bad as it can get. I have noticed recently she will do things to test my patience and see how far she can push me. I wonder if she takes me seriously at all.
Still I wouldn't change her for the world, it may not be normal to those people who got up and walked away today, but it is normal for us.
Photos from Post meltdown:
|happy again, loving costume jewellery|
|Over accessorizing at home|